happy days.

happy days.

(quick note... of my part for the mission papers are done and IN!  i just gotta interview with the stake president in about a week when i get back from visiting home! don't worry, no one will be left out of the loop! love you all!)

in no particular order.... the following are things i am thankful for and want to hold on to forever.   

what's been on my mind lately...

• true and lasting friendship
• laughing...all the time
• beauty right out-side my door
• being goofy
• weddings
• places i've been
• family
• the places i'll go
• feeling free and full of potential

i know there are a lot of pictures, but let's be honest here... i've never been gifted with conveying my thoughts through the english language.  (mostly what i speak of turns out in movie quotes anyway...) because pictures are worth 1,000 words, i basically just wrote you a novel.  :)  these pictures are full of memories, awkwardness, love, faith, gratitude, and hope for a continuation of a wonderful and blessed life i've already had.

your bets please...

place your bets. (:

you guys.   i can't hold it in.  my excitement.  it's bursting!  i just want to get these papers done and turned in so i can get my call already.  

i was bored tonight so i made the above.  (don't worry, im not that artistic, i literally traced a picture off my computer screen.)  anyways... take a guess as to where i'll go!  i'm always curious as to where others thing i'll go!  to be honest, i'm open to almost anywhere!  (;

new shoes.

This is a fairly accurate explanation of my feelings before and after making the decision!

it has begun.

may 13, 2013 - it has begun. 

i'm a week into starting my papers, and i'm practically done already.  WHAT.

let me back up a bit...
back in early march, i was sitting in sacrament meeting, praying in my heart that Heavenly Father would help guide me in choosing to do things that would make me the best person i could be. (apparently that was a more loaded question than i had originally thought.) so there i was, listening to the talks and all of the sudden i could not breathe - i had tears coming from my eyes! what was happening to me?? i've never felt the spirit so strongly than in that moment.  i felt like i should consider serving a mission.  (i'm sorry... HUH!?)

now, i've thought about serving a mission before, but it was nothing too serious, and i usually brushed it away with the thought of, "yeah, missions are awesome, but i don't think i'll serve."  i could not have been more wrong.  the only thing was that on that day in march, and for many days (2 plus months) after that day, i still brushed it aside because i was scared of the unknown, comfortable with what i was doing with my life, unwilling to leave my friends, family, and life i've established here.  no matter how much i pushed it aside, the feelings and thoughts kept coming back to my mind whether i liked it or not.  as they kept coming, i slowly grew more open to the idea and was willing to truly consider it.  i made the pros and cons list in my mind, and honestly all the cons were worldly and minimal things in the grand scheme of things.  i decided i'd revisit the idea once the semester was over while i was home visiting the fam.

that weekend i was home, i prayed to know the will of the Lord for what I needed to do in the coming chapters of my life.  after sacrament meeting bishop durney came up to me catching up about school, then asked for me to meet up with him in his office after church. fishy, i know.  so i go, and he cuts right to the chase. he said to me, "Sydney, i was sitting in sacrament, saw you and instantly had the impression that you'd make an amazing missionary, and i feel as though i should tell you to consider serving a mission. is this totally crazy for me to say?" ha, funny. ya know, i'm sure the big guy upstairs was laughing at me right then because i was seriously getting THE clearest answers to my prayers i'll ever get, and it was the answer i wasn't currently favoring.  so bishop d and i chatted, i told him that i didn't have a desire to serve a mission, but i also didn't want to be disobedient to the Lord because i have faith that His plan is better than mine.  he put it this way - "well, i don't want to be bishop, but here i am, and you know what i am loving it - it's hard work, but i'm able to bless others by serving them, and i am also being blessed."  you simply can't argue with bishop d.  so i left with more confusion and frustration, but a little more at ease, and definitely a LOT to think about.  

this brings us back to good old provo, utah.  my first sunday back i go up to my bishop here at school (who i've been avoiding for these past weeks because he is one of the HEADS of the church's missionary department. talk about a biased opinion!)  i asked to meet with him for some counsel as to the decisions i need to make sooner than later.  he said, "okay, let's go. right now!"  (talk about efficiency!) so we chat, i catch him up to the point where i was at, and all he said in return was, "well, what do you feel in your heart is right for you to do?"  why is it that finding answers in situations like this are the hardest to find, yet they are always staring you in the face!?  so then i told him, that it would honestly be crazy for me to deny the clarity of revelation i've had the past few weeks, and i felt as though the right thing for me to do would be to serve a mission.

then i cried. (side note: i wish i was coherent when i cry because i honestly sound like a blabbering idiot and it takes forever to say 3-4 words.) and i cried a little more.  then i composed myself, and talked to bishop of my worries, doubts, concerns, fears, etc. for a while.  by the time i was feeling confident in this decision, he said, "alright, well, lets get started!" ........i'm sorry.... you mean like now? uh, alright...!

and that was that.  they began.  and you know what?  i left his office without a single feeling or thought of doubt, confusion, or frustration.  that is when i knew, for one reason or another, Heavenly Father wants me to get out there and help spread His gospel.  and so i will.

update on the papers:  everything is done, just gotta go to the doctors office this coming friday and monday and a few interviews  then that is basically it! C-R-A-Z-Y to say the least, but i haven't been this happy, confident, or BLESSED and i can say that it is all because i am happy with my decision.  

stay tuned for when they get turned in!!!! (AH!)

feel free to place your bets as to where i'll get called to serve! i get jittery when i think of all the places i could go.  this experience is UNREAL, but i'm loving the ride so far - let's see where it takes me.

thank you to ALL for the amazing love and support - i can feel it (yes, even through the phone calls and the computer screens.)  :) it all means so much. i can't even begin to tell you.

more to come soon!


-sister sydney